So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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