just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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