The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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