coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
