I want to have your abortion
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
