I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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