Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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