I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize