But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
