Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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