yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
