So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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