im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
