I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
