Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
