Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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