Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize