so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Let's get the cat blown out
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
