I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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