He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
