I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
