After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
