I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
did you just send me my own nude
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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