And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
