yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
