WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
