he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Randomize
