i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I won't apologize to a one balled man
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
