its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Everyone says I win the strip club
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
