Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize