Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
