if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
wow bdsm is so cute
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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