i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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