bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
