dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
