what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize