that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
