Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
