You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
