3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
