Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
So vagazzling was a success
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
