It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I didn't notice because vodka
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
