My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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