Have you finally orgasmed yet?
we made out on top of his cat.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
