I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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