I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
