i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
