Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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