would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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