Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
