I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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