how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
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