508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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