i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Randomize