If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
