So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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