Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
