it was like eating out sand paper
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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